My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
