omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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