I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
