i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
