Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
