What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
