I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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