im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
