nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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