I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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