Ambien. No doubt about it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
