He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
