puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
