Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
