So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
