Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
