We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
