is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
