i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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