Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
