Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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