I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize