I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How does one acquire holy water?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
