my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
