my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
