OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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