Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
