First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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