she peed on how many people?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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