she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
