so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
