Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
