A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
