I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize