It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
