may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
