so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize