he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize