ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
