The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it glows. i had to have it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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