Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
