last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
are you so shy because you have an std?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
