the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
