just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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