The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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