glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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