Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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