I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
