I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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