I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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