I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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