Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
