This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
