Someone shit on the floor
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
