Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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