Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
