Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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