dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
