Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
