guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
