he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
