id be glad to
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Randomize
